Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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