Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
