Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
