i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
