as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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