Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
