Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
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casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
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I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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