We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize