I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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