What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
