my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Do vagina's smell?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
