he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize