While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
