big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Shame - the story of my life.
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