so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
