Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
