Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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