I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
