You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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