my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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