Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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