dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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