she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We left the knife in your bed.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize