how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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