And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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