there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
