You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
