so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
