My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
