we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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