if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
please come you make the beer taste better
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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