If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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