i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
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Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
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went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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