I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
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