I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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