Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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