too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Randomize
