Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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