I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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