You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Randomize
