After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
