she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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