What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
P.S. I can't hear my feet
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
