So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
