i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
they need to just BURY HIM!
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
