and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
