We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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