I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
