The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
