I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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