I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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