Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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