im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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