I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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