Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
