But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
