Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
