he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
