i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
