My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
