and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Less talking, more tequila
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Your topless pictures make me question reality
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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