There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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