she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
party gras won. party gras always wins.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
