Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
