The brown eye won't let me do that either.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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