I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
