I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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