Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
