Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
