who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
