elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Two words: nipple clamps
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