oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Drake has all the answers
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
