there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
