yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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